You're Too Sensitive

I'm going to branch away from the subject of wool for a bit here. I debated with myself about posting a non knitting/spinning topic here. I decided that it is MY blog to talk about any subject I wish. Besides, no one is reading it anyway. LOL I guess that makes this a sort of public journal. Like a diary laying on a public road that no body is picking up to read.

This month is the twelve year anniversary of my escape from a verbally abusive marriage. The marriage lasted 20 years. We have two children. When I left him I still didn't know that the relationship was abusive. I only knew that I couldn't take it anymore and I felt like I was dying. I may go into more details in another post, but for now just know that it was really bad.... I mean really really bad. I am currently in treatment for PTSD and it is getting better. Verbal and emotional abuse is seriously damaging.

I have spent the last twelve years defending my actions to my parental figures. My father called me every weekend begging me to go back to my husband who "isn't that bad". He would almost cry as he would tell me how sorry he felt for the ex and how I "always had over reacted to things and was too sensitive". The pressure from Dad only stopped when he passed away. Only months ago my Aunt who raised me (and still doesn't really understand why I left the man) was asking me again if I didn't really still love him and want to go back. She wasn't pressuring me to do that.... just not understanding how OVER it really is. I told her that he had hurt me too deeply, that his behavior had killed the love I once felt for him. Her answer? "You always were too sensitive".

THE WONDERING

I wondered why so many people think that reacting to something very hurtful proves a person is "too sensitive". I couldn't understand how those same people fail to see the hypocracy they demonstrate when they cry over something cruel that was said to THEM! Yes, I've seen that happen a lot. Those same people who would bring me to my knees with their raging anger and accusations, expecting me to just stand there and take it with no reaction at all, cry out between the tears "she hurt my feelings!" How could they not SEE the disparity?

THE DETERMINATION

1. This type of person wants to convince you that you ARE too sensitive. Hopefully you will do your best to NOT be sensitive anymore. This would leave them free to spew their venom at you freely and then blame your reaction on YOU! What fun!

Trying to not be sensitive can be very dangerous. It will make you numb to life... even the good parts. I was numb for years. NOT FUN.

2. Being a sensitive person is a GOOD thing! We need MORE sensitive people in the world, not less! Sensitive people care about others, they have a thing called empathy. Truly empathetic people don't hurt other people on purpose! Sensitive and empathetic people don't have to take an ethics class in college to understand that it isn't nice to lie and cheat people.

How sensitive and empathetic do you think Kenneth Lay was toward the employees and stockholders of Enron? How about Madof?

Personally, if I never hear "Your too sensitive" again till I die it will be too soon.

Off to the Yellow Rose Fiber Fiesta

All my bags are packed. Though not in the truck yet. Dogs are at home waiting for me to get off work so we can get on the road. So EXCITED.

This is the trip that almost wasn't. Due to my stupid paranoia about being a pain in the butt, I failed to continually remind the family in Austin about this weekend! In particular i failed to continually keep their promise to watch my dogs on their minds. So last Sunday when the opportunity presented it's self (as opportunities so often do) to grab a couple of plane tickets to Cali just in time to attend her good friend's baby shower........ Jessica and Doug booked the flight.

I found out Monday during a phone conversation. My side went something like... "YOU WHAAAAAT??!! But my FIBER FESTIVAL WEEKEND!! ARRRGHHHH"

This kicked of a couple of days of frantic schedule shuffling by Jessica. She saved the weekend.

It will not be quite the weekend I had planned, since instead of dropping of my responsibilities (my 2 pups), I will be picking up responsibilities (Granddaughter and Granddog). It will not be quite the relaxing carefree experience I had hoped for. But the bright side is that the weekend is NOT lost.

We'll be hitting the road as soon as I can get home and get the stuff in the truck.