Rules of Engagement

Last week I realized something. Something BIG.

For some time now I have been wrestling with the fact that people that I know. People that are straight forward and honest with me can LIE right to my face during a business negotiation. How can this be? How can someone do this and not think of themselves as a big fat liar?

Edit: Reading this a day after I wrote it I feel the need to clarify that I am NOT talking about any of my fiber friends here. I am thinking of some past employers.

Answer: During business negotiations folks are all playing a game! (except me apparently) The rules of this negotiating game are simple. Say or do whatever is needed to get the "other" to back down or give up trying to reason with you. Considering the points made or needs expressed by the other party is NOT part of the game. The arguments and facts don't have to be true or even relevant to the subject at hand. Wearing the other person down is the same as convincing them to join your side of the debate. Either will count as a win which is the ONLY important thing.

I never played that way.

For about a week I observed the goings on at work and verified my theory. Then I had another realization. This isn't just business negotiation. Expand the theory to interpersonal relations and the world makes sense now. This would explain why it takes me over an hour to decline a dinner invitation from a certain friend who NEVER just says "OK, maybe next time". It just goes on and on forever.... like a used car salesman... overcoming every objection... never... giving... up.

f - Bunch of us are getting together for steaks and wine tomorrow, wanna join us?

me - No thanks, maybe next time.

f - Why not?

me - I'm really tired from work and want to just stay home and rest.

f - rest up tonight and come out with us tomorrow

me - I don't want to leave my dog who just had surgery

f - get your daughter to watch her or bring the dog

me - she just had surgery!

f - exactly! She'll just sleep in the crate while we eat.

me - I don't want to put her through that! I just want to stay home!

f - It will be fun. I'll come by and pick you up about 5

me - NO I don't want to!

f - You'll be glad once you are biting into that good steak and drinking a glass of wine.

me - I'm VEGAN! and I don't like drink.

ETC. ETC. ETC.


Well, I'm a day late and a dollar short on this one. The day AFTER my great realization I see this article in the NY Times which basically says that researchers have come to the same conclusion.

Headline: Reason Seen More as Weapon Than Path to Truth
Cliff Notes: People argue just to win, not to listen to all sides and come to a fair compromise that benefits all parties.... it's just about a power over win.

Sometimes being right kinda sucks. I wish it weren't true.

Thanks for listening. Your reward is some yarn porn.
A little handspun with beads that I named "If You Pop That Gum One-More-Time"

Triangle looms

It has been a well kept secret that triangle looms have been luring me away from knitting/spinning for some time. Ever since I saw a girl weaving on one at the Kid N Ewe fiber festival. I resisted. It lured. I resisted some more.

I DO have a garage full of woodworking equipment and know how to use it. I kept telling myself I could make myself one. Yes, I could. Any gramma who made her grandchild a rocking horse complete with flowing mane could certainly create a triangle frame with finishing nails in it. Even got a miter saw and drill press for cryin out loud. Two and a half years later I have not cut one angle or even measured a piece of wood for a loom.

There's simply not enough time in a lifetime to make all the things that are in my brain trying to get out. Add to that a job that takes days AND a lot of evenings and then steals weekends and holidays for desert. Here's where I'm supposed to say that it is all ok because I LOVE MY JOB. But, I really can't say that.



Last weekend at Fancy Fibers Farm I saw that Mary had some smallish triangle looms in her farm store. OHHHH YEAH.
It took me about half a second to evaluate the probability of ever finding time to make myself one (zilch). Of course I brought one home with me.

I can't believe I waited so long. This triangle loom weaving is awesome!



This shawl came together in one afternoon. Crochet shells expanded the triangle which is scarf sized into a small shawl.